multiple marriages to same person

[R. Walker]

I have a problem that I don't know how to enter. I have two cousins who married, divorced, married again, divorced again, --the same wives. Unfortunately one cousin was killed in an accident just after their second divorce, and the wife/widow never remarried. The other cousin was married in the mid 1950s for 7 years, had two children when the marriage broke up. Seven years later they re-married each other again briefly, then divorced for the second time. This was in the 1970s. There were no other children born to this couple, even though the wife briefly was married to someone else after the second divorce from my cousin. In 1998 they remarried again, and are together now. I only have the first marriage date in their data. I know the date of the second marriage, but not the marriage or name of the wife to someone else. I haven't got the date of the third (for him) /fourth (for her) marriage. This is a touchy subject, and I can't ask them. They have made no comment on the charts that I have given them with only the first marriage date listed. This will not be published as they are still living, and I don't know if I want to have all this nonsense in for future generations to know. The current living children know of their parent's vagaries in and out of marriage. I am thinking just to let sleeping dogs alone. How "accurate" should I be?
"rwalker"

[David G. Kanter]

I have two cousins who married, divorced, married again, divorced again, --the same wives. . . .How "accurate" should I be?My approach: As accurate as what I know. If something is really too sensitive—at least at this time—to be directly shown, at least capture it as "Sensitive Data" (Options->Reports->Sensitive Data)--if not also putting it in a separate Note field.

Even just a few decades from now, it would be far more difficult for someone, independent of your Family File, to ascertain what were the real circumstances and I'd hope that with the passage of time, you'd want the real story to be known. So, if you know that now, capture the data in your Family File.

Reunion will easily let you create as many Family Cards are there are relationships—including where the remarriage(s) are between the same persons. Just use the green "+" pop-up menu next to one of the persons on a first Family Card and choose "Existing Spouse". Then choose the person from the Index listing. (Note: If the person whose green "+" pop-up menu is coded as a Male, the Index will be "Show: Female", and vice versa.) If there are children from one or more of the multiple relationships, ensure you link each of them to the applicable Family Card. (In the case of remarriages to the same person, I wouldn't expect you'd want to create Duplicate Child Buttons.)

Caution: When you add additional spouses—creating additional Family Cards—Reunion with put the just added spouse as the last spouse. You want to be sure you end up with each person's spouses in the order in which that relationship occurred. Therefore, when I have multiple spouses—indicated on the Family Card by the double-red-arrows after the Name--I try to ensure I've chose "Edit Spouses" from that double-red-arrow pop-up menu and confirmed the order of the spouses and which has the Preferred checkmark. If all the relationships have had Marriage Dates entered, you can use the Sort button, or you can just drag them into the order you want. For the women with multiple spouses, which spouse's Last Name will be used, by default, as the woman's Married Name (in the absence of any entry in the Fact field called, by default, Married Name) is determined by which is the last ordered spouse. As for the Preferred checkmark, I ensure it's on the spouse for the last relationship because Reunion uses that Preferred selection to determine: (1) which Family Card you're taken to if you do a plain click on a person's Child Button where there are multiple spouses, and (2) which spouse's name appears as the Spouse in the Index and other listings.

[Sam Matthews]

I have read through the postings regarding multiple marriages, but it doesn't seem to work for me. I'm trying to show married to A, divorced and then married to B, divorced and married to A again. Any suggestions? I'm usuing the newest version of 9. Did showing data in this way work before with the earlier versions?

Sam

[brandt]

Sam,
I followed the description of David and it just works fine. Where he says: Just use the green "+" pop-up menu next to one of the persons, in Version 9 it is the orange "+" a little above a person.

[AE Palmer]

I have read through the postings regarding multiple marriages, but it doesn't seem to work for me. I'm trying to show married to A, divorced and then married to B, divorced and married to A again. Any suggestions? I'm usuing the newest version of 9. Did showing data in this way work before with the earlier versions?

Sam

In this case, it should be:

Joe married Jane in 1880
Child #1
Child #2
Joe married Diane in 1889
Child #3
Joe married Jane in 1900.
Child #4.

Note that this is treated as three SEPARATE marriages! Each with their respective children -- the fact that Joe married Jane twice is irrelevant. You are recording three marriages in date order.

That said, you will want to make note that Joe and Jane were married twice somewhere in your notes - if only for your own reference.

As for the divorces, you should record them as part of their resective marriages. Versions 7. 8 and now 9 all allow for such events.

[bondiblueimac]

Get the documents to prove or disprove... I know at least two people who have remarried the same spouse. Nowadays folks have a second ceremony years later to renew their vows, but I don't think those are necessarily vital statistics recording... Hard to believe, I know. Sourcing is my best advice. Good Luck!

[John M. Leggett]

Get the documents to prove or disprove... I know at least two people who have remarried the same spouse. Nowadays folks have a second ceremony years later to renew their vows, but I don't think those are necessarily vital statistics recording... Hard to believe, I know. Sourcing is my best advice. Good Luck!

It is unusual for persons who marry and divorce, to get married again to each other, but it is not impossible. In my 50+ years of ministry I have officiated twice at weddings involving a couple that had previously been married to each other, divorced, and then decided to get back together again.